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  • The OP pays no child support and denies parentage of the child to CSA. 

    My question is in regards to recovery of child if it were needed. 

    We’ve been in court for the child. OP now wants nothing at all. My concern is the only visit we have agreed upon coming up and that there would be no orders in place now as OP is withdrawing from court. I fear OP will try to take the child and harm them out of spite/anger. 

    I worry that police may not be able to act straight away in recovering the child before something happens. 

    The child is an infant and is breastfed and would be highly distressed. 

    • MM : Your main concern should be the lack of orders you have where there is risk the OP may take off with the child.

      The birth cert alone as Cameron stated above does not determine legal parentage.

      If the child is abducted without parenting orders in place it may mean the whole process of recovery could take longer. You will need to file an initiating application for parenting orders at the same time as the recovery orders.

      Recovery doesn’t happen instantly.

      Best to get the parenting orders now to set legal boundaries.

      • Without any orders in place the situation is high risk.

        No one can advise you what to do now as the situation is best guided by you and your conscience.

        You are right in saying that with no orders in place there is little the Police can do to help.

        However the question is also about co-parenting until the child/children involved reach 18 years of age.

        If you have an agreement in place and now you dishonor that agreement due to nothing else but your fear then how are you possibly going to co-parent for years to come.

        Insofar as the CSA not recognizing him as the father, this does not limit the Family Court from recognising him as the father. 

        If you need to remove doubt get a DNA test but even then the Family Court may still recognise him as the father or as having paternal rights to time with the child depending on how many years they have known each other.

        • Thank you for your responses. 


          We have been in court but OP has now withdrawn the application and does not want to see the child. 

          I have made multiple proposals. 

          We have agreed on a contact centre. But my concern is every contact centre has had the same sort of response. Where if a supervised parent forcibly removes a child they can’t step in and physically take the child and will just let the parent go with the child. 

          I will be going to see the centre this week and will be expressing my concerns and asking for them to explain their procedures. 


          Since my post I have received an email from my lawyer. She’s spoken with the ICL and the ICL wants to go ahead to an undefended hearing and give me SPR.

          So I’m feeling very relieved that we will indeed have orders protecting the child. 

          The child is a 12 month old baby. 


          I do intend to co parent as best I can. Though that’s hard with someone who won’t respond with anything constructive and responds with saying he will see the child when the child is grown. 


          My lawyer said if I feel the child is too at risk our next visitation is by agreement and is not court ordered so I would not be contravening orders if I withheld. However, I don’t intend to withhold the child. I’m happy for the visit to go ahead as long as I have a plan in place and know the ins and outs of the situation and what I can do. 


          Our current orders would still be in place which states supervised access at the centre only. 

          So it would be, if I’m correct, that the police would in fact be able to remove the child of the OP we’re to kidnap the child. 


          What other things would police consider when trying to determine whether they feel they’re a parent of the child or not? You’ve said that birth certificate is not the only thing that would be used to determine parentage and mentioned child support. Which is why I’ve stated no child support is paid and they continuously state they’re not the child’s parent. 

          So other than this? Just so I can learn. 

          • reply to Miranda.


            Yes, we currently have interim orders. These were consent orders agreed upon between both parents and their lawyers and the ICL.

            The father was to travel to the mothers area and see the child at a contact centre for 3 months. Then assess how the father and child are going.


            There’s not enough evidence to show the fathers behaviour (and is likely a big reason of the refusal to use the contact centre).


            The ICL hasn’t read much of our material, I honestly don’t know what she’s actually read at all.

            But she seems to be on the fathers side even my lawyer has said this.

            Judging by what my lawyer has said, she still wants orders for the father to see the child despite the father doing nothing to see the baby, withdrawing from court, and stating he refuses to come and see the baby. She’s aware he’s not complied with any of our orders and has said the father may be finding it too hard to use the contact centre.. I’m not sure what she means by this, but it makes no sense to me at all. The centre we agreed on is a great centre and registration and intake is very straight forward.


            The father is highly controlling, possessive, aggressive and abusive and very very manipulative.


            ICL wants the father to have unsupervised. Even though he’s done nothing to see the child.

            My lawyer said the ICL doesn’t really believe what I’ve said and that what he’s done isn’t bad enough or recent enough. Basically said he needs to start physically abusing the baby before anything will be done.


            My recent issue is that I know what he is like. I’ve lived with him and dealt with him.

            He no longer has access to me despite his efforts (such as trying to have it court ordered that I am to be in the visits and trying to have it court ordered that he can call me and not be in breach of the dvo. I’m still getting calls from a blocked number with ‘someone’ just sitting and breathing on the phone).

            He wanted me to abort the child. I don’t believe this is so much about the child and is more about wanting to be around me. He still seems to think there’s a chance I will take him back. 


            i don’t want to simply cut off the father though. 

            I just want the child to be able to be safe.


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