STEPFATHER ABUSES CHILDREN, MOTHER DENIES SUCH ALLEGATION
Sidden & Tanda & Anor [2021] FCCA 674 (5 March 2021)
This is a parenting case where the children are being abused by the mother’s current husband. The court determines if it is in the children’s best interest to spend time with their mother despite of their abusive step-father.
Facts:
This matter involves parenting issues in respect of X who was born in 2007 and who is 13 and Y who was born in 2009 and who recently turned 12.
Y has lived with her father for two years now and she has not had any contact with her mother since she began doing so, or if she has, it has been very little. For most of the time the proceedings have been before the court, X was living with the maternal grandmother and spending regular time with his father. He has not been spending time with his mother because there has been an order in place prohibiting it.
If the children were reintroduced to their mother in the absence of her husband Mr B it might be that time would go along all right. However, the mother is in complete and utter denial about what is happening in her household and about the behavior of her husband.
Even on the mother’s version of events Mr B has pushed and shoved her, and that is family violence. If the mother is ever able to label it as family violence and leave the relationship and if she is able to show that she understands the need to prioritise protecting the children from abuse over protecting a partner or her relationship, then a time might come when it would be good for the children to spend time with her.
However, it is obviously impossible for her to leave the relationship at the moment and in addition to the issue of family violence involving the mother, that Mr B has abused X and Y.
Issue: Should the court allow the children to spend time with the mother and the maternal grandmother while the mother and Mr B are still together?
Held:
Mr B has abused X and Y as that term is defined in the Family Law Act and the refusal by the mother and the maternal grandmother to accept that just because they did not see it is gravely concerning.
The court could make an order that the children see their mother in the absence of Mr B which would protect the children from Mr B but the court is satisfied that, unless and until the mother reaches a point in her life where she is willing to accept that she is in an abusive relationship and that Mr B has harmed the children, it is not appropriate to make an order for the children to spend time with her.
The issue in relation to the maternal grandmother is more difficult. X lived with her for a lengthy period and he told the family report writer late last year that he was content to remain living with her.
The court is concerned about the fact that the maternal grandmother is torn and wants to believe her daughter and is not willing to condemn Mr B.
The maternal grandmother has not seen Y for two years, so absent some evidence that Y wanted to go to and spend time with her, the court would not be making an order for that to happen.
Conclusion: The mother shall spend no time with and have no communication with the children and X shall spend time with and communicate with the maternal grandmother only at X’s request.
